Go Out

My head was banging pain, pain, pain but I went out anyway. My tooth felt like it was made of hot metal. Like it was freezing away the nerve, killing it slowly. Like autumn. And I drank a pint of sweet, cold, fizzy liquid. Teeth and head both screaming. And brain just wanting quiet and codeine. I met friends and it was a joy to see them. Good people. But I didn’t feel like a good person. I felt like I was responsible for all the bad things that had happened.

I never watched the news.

I smoked and my teeth wanted to shrink into the gums. The smoke irritated them and they complained again. The place was not real. I felt the walls and my hand went straight through. I screwed up a pint glass as though it were paper. Then the music froze and fell to the floor in cotton wool heaps. Only a few people remained. The others were either never there or had left.

I drove out of the car park. The building folded in upon itself. I steered the car onto the main road. The wheels sank into the tarmac but I managed to keep it at 30 mph. Looking in the mirror, I saw the road collapse. Beyond it there was nothing but black.

Closing the door, I fed myself the necessary drugs and waited, impatiently, for the light to go out.


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