Fish Cakes

I went to the supermarket. It smelled like frozen plastic. People didn’t know which direction to go in. It was confusing. They seemed confused. I wasn’t confused. I wanted some fish. Originally, the idea was to get a couple of tins of mackerel and a couple of tins of beans. First I wanted to check the reduced section. You never know. Lucky for me, there were two haddock fish cakes there. And they were good ones. And cheap. It was lucky. So I picked those up quickly. One of the people might get un-confused and see the bargain. Then I got a couple of cans of beans. There weren’t any single cans so I got a pack of four. Supermarkets own brand. There was a name brand 4-pack too but it cost double. I wondered why they cost so much more. Wasn’t it the same thing really? Maybe it made people feel better to have name brand beans. As I made my way to the check out, I calculated how much it would all cost. I used the calculator on my phone. That way it looked like I was sending someone a message. Then I remembered that I didn’t have any water at home. The water from the tap tastes funny. Also, it takes a long time to run cool. And I don’t like drinking water unless it’s cool. So I bought a four litre bottle of water. For some reason there was no price for it, so I couldn’t add that to the total on my calculator.  I looked around for a free checkout. I said ‘Hello’ to the man at the checkout. He looked at the fish cakes. Then he frowned to himself. Maybe he wanted them for his dinner. Maybe he had been too confused to remember. He asked me if I had a loyalty card. I said I’d lost it. He said they’d run out of application forms for new loyalty cards. I said okay. I said I’d see if I could do it online. He made a grunt sound. ‘Four pound four pee.’ He said. I handed him the exact money. He laid the receipt upon the metal. I said ‘Bye’. He looked at my shopping bags. Still dreaming of the fish cakes, no doubt.


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